Jul 6, 2009
the urge to express
So I have shamefully watched the entire 5th season of The Hills today. Its funny to see these places I used to go to for lunch… also to see at one of the photoshoots, a guy I interviewed with one time. What a different world.
What happened to blogging. It used to be interesting and enlightening to read peoples’ thoughts, what they were learning and how they were growing. We don’t seem to do that anymore. Is it too revealing now to be so open in the public world of the www. I’m not sure, but I have an urge to write.
I am learning that I haven’t been trusting God with things in life. I thank Him when something good happens, but I seldom ask Him for those things.
What does this have to do with the Hills? I have no idea. Maybe the Hills represents LA to me. Represents this crazy drive to be the best and into the coolest design work there is out there. Not sure. Not that its a bad thing to want to be good at something, its just not the thing I need to be so overwhelmingly focused on being the best at.
Back to the not trusting part, I tend to worry… and the worrying leads to my trying to figure out on my own how to make things work. If I just check the bank account again… I make sure we have this much saved by this time… I investigate design companies… I research homes and if we can afford one… I work over the budget one more time… I look into “transitioning from workforce to motherhood” articles… and on and on. When really I should be asking God to give me rest and trust Him in the world of finances, please give Jonathan favor in his work place, lead us and teach us how to follow Him on a path that is rewarding and brings life. Teach me how to be peaceful in transition and to not have fear. Those sorts of things.
Sort of a no brainer to many, but this is what I’m learning.
Went to church this evening and its so amazing to me the beauty of God inspired music. I can’t touch it, I can’t wrap my brain around it, and its a little scary at the same time. How beautiful it is to be in the midst of creativity at its best.
ok, thanks for talking it through with me, blog. Goodnight.
- britt